I'm okay today

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face and didn't want to get out of bed. There was a nice, brisk chill in the air. After puppy went out for her morning business, she came back to the room and cried to get in the bed with me. We share a morning cuddle.

After many mornings of somberness, I wake up feeling okay. It is a nice feeling. So much better than sad. Tons better than angry. And worlds better than worried. I had felt those things on many mornings...and I can say that I'm okay today.

I think...hm.. I know he knew what he was doing. I know that he asked for that chapter's page to turn and start anew. He did it for me...or maybe he did it for us. I feel it in my bones. I still feel a pull..every. single. day. But still.. for right now, I'm okay today.

And there are far worse things to fret about.

Late last night after a bit of socializing :) I prepped for tonight's supper. I soaked some white navy beans and took some pork hocks & ham out to thaw. My famous ham & white bean soup. Infused with garlic, bay leaves, cilantro and other aromatics. This morning I rinsed the beans and got it ready to simmer with the hocks so it is smelling quite lovely right now. While I'm chopping onion to get it in the pot with the rest of the soup goodness, a visitor stopped by. My partner's aunt comes in from the back door and makes a bee line to find her sister. I watched this woman, still in her plaid PJ Bottoms, break down as she told us the news of her son. He has cancer. My heart immediately sinks. I don't know his aunt or his aunt's son very well - but I do know the heartache and pain.

I'm very lucky that I woke up feeling okay. There are so many who open their eyes at the break of dawn and they are not so lucky. I wish them better mornings, brighter days and starry nights. I wish them well.

I wish you all well xoxo

The Ultimate Lazy Sunday & The Faraway Nearby

Today is the ultimate Lazy Sunday. I've been spending it mostly in bed feeling under the weather and the rain outside makes it easier for me to stay tucked in and cozy. Last night, I was awoken by a light show in the sky which were accompanied by sets of rolling thunder. I sat up, wide awake and watched it through my window for a little while, which I tend to do. We had BBQ plans today, and I had set my alarm to wake up to make my famous potato salad I did it as planned toughing out the achy blahs. My partner still has his door project to work on, I can hear the pounding as we speak. So I decided to stay home. (Enter mischievous smile here). Don't tell anyone, but I didn't want to go anyway. I still made my famous potato salad and sent it on it's way with the others. I don't feel it is a wasted day, I am very content to have the house to myself. I open up my music list and load up a long playlist of Cyndi Lauper tunes, something I listen to when I'm feeling ill. Her music makes me feel better. She reminds me of my sisters...plus, I wanted to avoid having certain songs or artist pulling at my emo-cord. Cyndi is safe. I'm finding it's taking it a lil longer writing this, as I took several breaks singing "I'll Kiss You" (a very animated performance, might I add) and "The Faraway Nearby" (which had me thinking of the person I was trying not to think of which is why I chose to listen to Cyndi Lauper in the first place) It happens that way, I suppose. So I continue to sing.

Hot looks, cold words,
Don't know what it is you heard
But I didn't mean it,
If I said something wrong
Short nights, long dreams
Something happens in between
Then a weird feeling,
Like you're here but still you're gone

 
Big whisper, small scream
But it's not like what it seems
Locked up in the open
Don't know which way to go
Deserts, oceans
Leaving footprints in the sand
Hoping that you'll see them
And wishing you'd follow

It's impossible to keep someone out of your head, when deep inside you want them there. It's a toughie, no doubt about it.

 

Reason #1

I was asked recently if I regret leaving the island of O'ahu, Hawai'i, my home of 37 years. I do miss it, and I will always think of it as home...but no, I don't regret leaving. I can go on and on naming what I miss about Hawai'i, instead I decided to share the reasons I love being here. It'll be an ongoing thing as I go through the seasons. Fun, right?

 Why I love it here

Reason #1
I met my first chipmunk. It was a brief meeting, and for a brief moment this grown woman squealed with glee. That was probably the reason why this lil critter ran away, too.

P.S. Theodore is my favorite, but Simon makes me smile :)